La mirada d’una vida que s’acaba…

Aquest és un altre mail curiós de fa més de tres anys…

“sí, ja sé que és una mica tard, però ja fa temps que tinc ganes de compartir això amb vosaltres… és tan sols una reflexió vital… i ara vull fer-ho…

 ja sabeu que a part de fer esport…i parlar i riure molt, de tant en tant m’agrada escriure el que penso, visc o veig…
 
vull parlar d’una persona molt gran que viu al meu poble…
 resulta que cada matí quan vaig a la feina me’l trobo que surt a passejar per estirar les cames… camina amb dos bastonets i amb pas lent i parant cada 20m a seure i descansar per agafar forces per fer els següents 20 o 30 metres…
 no fa pas gaire que va estar uns mesos ingressat per un atac de cor… i degut a la seva edat, jo pensava que no el tornaria a veure….
 
ja no pensava amb ell fins que l’altre dia me’l vaig trobar a la plaça sortint del poble… em va fer molta ilu i vaig parar la Vespa per saludar-lo. Vaig acabar parlant amb ell 45’… quan normalment eren converses de 5’…
Vaig veure i notar una expressió en la seva cara que se’m va quedar gravada…. quines ganes de xerrar i conversar que tenia l’home…
 Vaig entendre que ell era conscient que amb la seva edat i després dels dies a l’hospital el temps se l’hi acabava…
 
És curiós veure les ganes de viure d’aquest avi… ganes de gaudir del poc temps que li queda, ganes de gaudir de la seva passejada diària, ganes de gaudir del que ha vist tota la vida, ganes de veure els camps verds de Bellestar, les muntanyes que ens envolten, ganes de tenir companyia per parlar una mica, ganes de rebre l’energia del sol cada matí…
Quines ganes de viure les d’aquest avi…. la seva cara… els seus ulls… sempre recordaré aquella expressió… quina nostàlgia, quin romanticisme, quanta melancolia als seus ulls, quantes ganes de seguir fent l’únic que pot fer… aquest passeig diari de 300m…
 
I llavors me n’he adonat de les ganes que m’ha fet venir de trobar-me’l, de parar i conversar amablement amb ell, ganes de fer-lo sentir important, de fer-lo sentir útil per algú… li pregunto coses sobre el temps, sobre les muntanyes, sobre la fauna… ganes de compartir… compartir un
conversa, compartir un pensament… compartir el que li queda de vida… que bonic…
 
com m’agrada trobar-me’l cada matí… i com m’agrada veure el seu somriure feliç… feliç de viure, feliç d’haver despertat un altre matí, feliç de poder passejar, feliç de trobar-me, feliç de compartir… compartir el poc que li queda de vida… 
 em fa gràcia veure com per fi, després de molts anys d’intercanviar algunes paraules, ara se m’ha obert i tenim converses agradables i senzilles… que bonic sentir-te estimat, que bonic sentir-te acceptat…
 
tant sols dir-vos que no tingueu mai pressa a l’hora de ser amable amb algú, que no costa res invertir uns minuts del vostre temps per fer feliç a una persona… i dic invertir perquè la recompensa és immensa… immensa en el nostre interior…
 
en aquests moments torno a trobar que la vida segueix sent meravellosa… poc a poc… pas a pas… tot arribarà…
 
bé… és tant sols el que he dit abans… una reflexió…
 apa, que tingueu un bon dia i una forta abraçada a tots….”
 
RESPOSTES
 
“Tens molta raó, sovint no ens adonem que a partir del primer dia de la nostra vida, ens fem grans….i que el nostre voltant està ple de gent gran que està arribant a la fi del seu trajecte.
Sempre recordo les paraules d’un padrí de 90 anys “…..que curt que ha sigut  això” parlant de la vida. Era el meu padrí.
Ara no ens ho sembla, però si et pares a pensar.. “això ”  és realment curt, encara que visquem 90 anys, sempre queden coses per fer ….
Aprofitem al màxim el temps per estar be, valorem el dia a dia, les coses que ens envolten, els ser estimats i que ens estimen…..d’aquesta manera tindrem la sensació de viure el doble, 180 anys.
Ahir a Coll de Nargó va morir una amiga de la meva edat, de sobte , sense avisar….no som res, no sabem com de curt serà això.
Que tinguem “això” molt llarg!”
 

“Gracies per compartir aquest petit moment, que segurament per aquest avi es un grand moment.

   Realment no gaudin d’aquest petits moments tot el dia anem corrents, amb presses i sense adonar-nos. Que la vida passa i molt ràpid i que em de viure i gaudir de tots els moments tant del cant d’un ocell. Com d’un cel blau o el somriure d’un avi.
 Si tots dediquessim un moment de la nostra vida per fer feliç a un altre esser humà com canviaria la nostra vida en general i la de la gent que ens envolta.”
 
“He llegit aquest escrit i m’agradat molt, esta fet amb sensibilitat ,amb sentiments Peró sobretot i segurament sens  tu saber-ho estaves fent una cosa que Jesús recomanava.Jo recordo haver viscut experiències semblants quant vivia al poble,era un altre mont.Tenir en compte als altres es realment una font de Felicitat.La veritat es que m’agradaria viure d’un altra manera perquè crec que el meu cor s’andurit, pot ser per no ser víctima de sentiments que de vegades fan patir i em limito a viure sense nostàlgia fent el que he acceptat fer.Soc un supervivent i poca cosa mes,per mi la vida es una lluita que es lliura fins a la fi,no em proposo ser feliç i procuro controlar la meva vida afectiva tant com puc,suposo que es un mecanisme defensiu per  patir una mica menys.Aquest vell et va fer un regal i tu li vas fer a ell,els dos heu estat encertats i al cap i la fi d’això es tracta amb les relacions entre persones.A pesar del que et dic crec que tinc mes il·lusió de viure ara que quant tenia 20 anys i això sens aferrar-me a la vida. Peró la nostàlgia no
m’interessa.Tots som aprenent i les petites coses moltes vegades son les que mes ens ensenyen.Una abraçada”
 
“Estic content que t’hagi agradat… de tant en tant tinc ganes d’escriure coses i pensaments que em passen… per recordar-los més endavant…

 …i la nostàlgia… a mi sí que m’interessa… el nostre present és producte del nostre passat i de les experiències viscudes… de tant en tant m’agrada recordar els moments bonics viscuts en el passat…
 recordo quan anàvem a fer muntanya a l’estiu i ens feies descobrir i estimar la natura que ara tant estimo  i necessito…
recordo les excursions de la Sènia… una terra dura i salvatge… on ens feies descobrir l’instint de superació personal que cada ú porta dins seu…
recordo quan anàvem corrent a la platja des de la Caseta del Bosc… recordo les sensacions que em produïa banyar-me quan estava ben suat… 
i tants altres record que de tant en tant em venen al cap quan passo per algun indret on anys enrere hi he estat i hi he viscut experiències que m’han fet sentir viu i estimar la vida i les persones que tinc al meu voltant…
no ho sé… nostàlgia o romanticisme o una barreja de totes dues… però són moments de la meva vida que m’encanta recordar quan en algun moment em venen al cap…
 
apa doncs…. prou de filosofia…. jajajajaja
 ara el que em toca és aprendre a viure de nou amb una situació nova, un repte nou… i per sort, a mi m’agraden molt els reptes… jajajaja
 una abraçada”
…deu nidó… és bonic llegir escrits vells…
dir-vos que l’avi segueix passejant cada dia que fa sol amb els seus dos amics de fusta inseparables i que de tant en tant segueixo parant a fer la xerradeta… 
This is another curious mail that dates of three years ago…
“Yes, I know it’s a little late, but I have wanted to share this with you for a long time … life is just a reflection … and now I want to do it…
you know that except doing sport, talking a lot and laughing, from time to time I also like to write what I think, see or live …

I would like to speak of a very old man living in my village …
Each morning when I leave for work I find him outside, gone for a walk to stretch his legs … he goes with two sticks and at a slow pace, stopping every 20m to sit and relax, to recharge for his next 20 or 30 meters …
Not long ago he was hospitalized for a few months … he had a heart attack due to his age, I thought I would not see him again ….
I havent been thinking about him much until I met him the other day on the square out of town … I turned around to park the Vespa and went to greet him. I ended up talking with him for 45 min… when talks were usually 5min longs…
I noticed  an expression on his face that would make him more serious …. and how much that man wanted to discuss and to share that day..
I understood that he was aware that, with his age and after the time spent in the hospital, his time was now counted…
It is curious to see the will to live this grandfather had, he wanted to enjoy the little time left, wanting to enjoy his daily walk, eager to enjoy what he has seen all his life, eager to see the green fields Bellestar, the mountains that surround us, wanting a little company to talk, eager to receive energy from the sun every morning …What desire to live this grandfather had …. his face … his eyes … I will always remember that expression … how nostalgic, romantic, how much sadness in his eyes, how eager he was to continue the only thing he could do, this daily walk … 300m …
And then I realized that I’ve been wanting to come to meet him again, to stop and have a chat with him, wanting to make him feel important, make him feel useful to someone … I asked about the weather, the mountains, about wildlife … willing to share … share a conversation, share a thought … share what life he had left.. how beautiful …I like to find him every morning … and I like to see his smile … happy to live, happy to have woken up one more morning, happy to walk, happy to find me, happy to share … share what little is has left of life …
it’s funny to see how, finally, after many years of exchanging only a few words, he had opened to me and we could share simple and pleasant conversations … how nice to feel loved, to feel accepted.
just to say that you should not hurry whenever you could be friendly with someone, it does not cost anything to invest a few minutes of your time to make a person happy … and I say invest because the reward is immense … huge inside us …
On those moments, I turn to find that life is still wonderful … little by little …step by step … everything happens…well … it’s just as I said before … a reflection …
Hey, you have a good day and a big hug to all …. “

ANSWERS

“You’re quite right, often we do not realize that from the first day of our life, we grow old …. and around us is full of elderly people who are coming to the end of their journey.
I always remember the words of a grandfather of 90 years “….. how short it has been” talking about life. It was my grandfather.
Now we do not think, but if you stop and think .. “it” is really short, even tho we live for 90 years, there would always be things to do ….
We use most of our time trying to be good, everyday we value things that surround us, those we love and who love us….. that way we would have the feeling of living double, of living 180 years.
Yesterday at Coll de Nargo a friend of my age died, suddenly, without warning …. we are nothing, and we dont know how short this will be.
We have to make “it” long! ”

“Thanks for sharing this little moment, surely it was a great time for this grandfather.
We dont really enjoy these little moments running throughout the day, hurry like we do and without realizing it. That life goes very fast and we have to live and enjoy every moment, be it as little as a birdsong. a blue sky or the smile of a grandfather.
If all were to dedicate a moment of our life to make the life of another happy, it would change our life in general and of all the other people around us. ”

“I read your text and I liked it very much. It is done with sensitivity, but especially with feelings and surely you will know that you were doing something that Jesus advised to do. I lived similar experiences once when I was living in a small village, it was like a different world. Paying attention and looking after the others is actually a source of happiness. truth is that I would like to live in a different way… I think my heart is getting harder, maybe for not being victim of feelings that sometimes hurt. I just live without nostalgia, doing what I like. I am a survivor and not much else, for me life is a battle that we fight til the end. Im not aiming at being happy and I try to control my emotional life as much as I can, I guess its a defensive mechanism to suffer a little less .This old man made you a gift and you to him too, and both have been successful and at the end of it is the relationships between people that matters .In spite of what I say I hope to live, more now than when I was 20 years old. this will hold me in life. But Im not interested by nostalgia. Everything is about learning and often the little things are the ones that teach us the most”

“I’m glad you liked it… Sometimes I have wanted to write things and thoughts that happened to me … to remember them later …
… and nostalgia … yes it does interest me … its a product of our present and our past experiences …

and I like to remember the beautiful moments I experienced in the past …
I remember when we went to the mountains in summer and you made me discover and love nature as much as I do today.. and need …
I remember the excursions in Senia … a harsh and wild land… which made us discover within ourselves the instinct of self-improvement
I remember when we were running on the beach from the House to the Forest … I remember the sensations when I went for a swim when I was very sweaty …
and so many other memories that occasionally come to mind when I pass a place where I have been there years ago and I have lived experiences that have made me feel alive and loved life and the people I have around me .. .  I do not know … nostalgia or romanticism or a mixture of both … but there are moments in my life that I love to remember when sometimes they come to my mind …

hey …. So enough philosophy …. jajajajaja
now I have to learn to live again with a new situation, a new challenge … and luckily for me I like challenges … jajajaja
a hug “

It is good to read old writings..

Just to say that the old man of my village is still walking every sunny day, along with is two inseparable wooden friends and occasionally I stop to follow in …

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